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Is it just me that finds that in this super-switched on age in which we live - where blogs, email and other electronic written forms are the tools of choice - that text is not actually a very good communicator anymore?
Perhaps it’s the “must do it now”, throwaway sort of culture that we live in, where we no longer spend time over anything. Got a quick email to write? Thirty seconds, click “Send”, off it goes.
And back comes an angry reply from the person you sent it to, asking just what in the hell you’re talking about! Because you didn’t take the time to read what you’d written and think about how it might be received by the person at the other end.
We’ve become very adept at participating in electronic conversations, but a lot of the time what we fail to remember is that in a traditional, face-to-face conversation the words themselves are quite a way down the list when it comes to actually communicating; so much of what we say to each other when we have a conversation is conveyed without words - the way you wave your arms, the way you stand, your facial expression, your tone of voice. But with electronic conversation we’re left only with the words.
I write quite often on this blog and I also participate in various forums across the Net, I comment on other people’s blogs, I use Twitter and so on and time and again I’ve come across the same old thing; slanging matches that have erupted because one person reacted angrily to another person’s post or comment, who then reacted angrily back and so on. But it’s very easy to seem like you’re being dismissive or rude even when you’re not if all you’re using is words.
Even if it doesn’t descend into a flame war, there can still be a lot of misunderstanding on both sides. The first person doesn’t make their point clearly, or the second person doesn’t read the post properly and only picks up on certain things, and you end up with a conversation that just goes round in circles without any real resolution. In the real world, of course, a proper conversation would have sorted it out in about five seconds.
I’m as guilty as the next person on this score; I do tend to write and send, without always reading first. I’m getting better, though, and do try to put myself in the position of the person who’s about to receive my post, email, comment, whatever. For all I know, they might be in a really bad mood, so is my attempt at a humourous remark going to be received in the light that I sent it?
I’m also not necessarily the best at expressing my point of view; I write away and don’t always stick strictly to the point. This happened today, where a blogger had asked for an opinion on an issue so I gave what I thought was a relevant answer. He didn’t take it that way and thought that I was talking about a separate subject - all because I didn’t take enough time to re-read what I’d written before I’d submitted it.
What I’m really trying to say is that if society is moving towards a model that is based less and less on physical interaction - which it certainly seems to be - then we need to improve our written communication skills by about 1,000%. So the next time you send an email, write a comment on a blog, post to a forum or whatever - think about what you’ve written and how it might be received at the other end.
All opinions in this blog are either my own or else they’re made up just to get a rise out of you and make you angry. Either way, they’re probably not very well thought out or expressed so do yourself a favour and don’t take the world so seriously.
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Tags: Writing, Conversation
28 December, 2007 at 0:00
i know what you mean. this is the reason why i almost always try to phrase my words as politely as possible, unless i mean to sound snarky, which is hardly ever. sometimes i get afraid that people will misunderstand my teasing or jokes, because if read in a different tone it would sound bad.
i think if you’re in a situation where you’re misread, it would be gracious to apologise for the confusion and try to see if from their point of view, even if you think it’s crystal clear. you don’t necessarily have to accept their interpretation, but understanding it goes a long way in helping you improve your communication skills, perhaps?
then there are those who insist that you cannot misinterpret what they said because it’s clear what they meant to them. i think that’s a self-absorbed way to look at it, because you must always remember that the internet is made up of people from all walks of life. different experiences, backgrounds, upbringings, worldviews will always result in different interpretation and inference of your words.
that said, there would be a few people who insist that your well-meaning words are negative despite your explanation. don’t bend over your back trying to please these sort of people if they can’t accept your explanation!
28 December, 2007 at 0:00
I’m with you, Sulz. After some bad experiences in my earlier blogging days, I do try to be as polite and clear as possible. Then, if someone misunderstands or takes offence I try to re-state my point of view to make it clearer what I meant.
If that doesn’t work, I walk away. I’ve found that it you keep worrying at it, like when you’ve got an itch that refuses to scratch, it just makes things worse.